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Endlessly Sherlocked

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.” 
The town fathers were not too happy with the sign, and they proposed “Hysteria and Posteriors.” 
The doctors didn’t find it ok, so they suggested “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.” 
The town didn’t like that either and countered with “Catatonics and High Colonics.” 
Thumbs down again. By now the story was in the papers, and suggestions began rolling in: 
"Manic-depressives and Anal-retentive." 
"Minds and Behinds." 
"Lost Souls and Assholes." 
"Analysis and Anal Cysts." 
"Queers and Rears." 
"Nuts and Butts." 
"Freaks and Cheeks." 
"Loons and Moons." 
None of these satisfied one side or the other, but they finally decided on “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”